Bulimia Girl

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Transition Girl

For some reason, I tend to be the girl people make friends with before they make friends with better people. I make friends with outcasts because I feel a certain kinship with them. I want to strengthen them up and make them feel good about themselves, and I genuinely enjoy their company. But then they do get confident and make other friends and forget about me.

I hate it. Why am I forgettable? Why aren’t I interesting enough?

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Secret Letter

** Update: I put the note in a popular vending machine while no one was looking. When I checked back there three hours later the note was gone! So someone definitely found it! **

Ruby posted a challenge on her blog: write an inspiring note to a random person and place it in a place anyone can find it.

I thought this was a great idea, so here is the note I wrote.

Dear you,

People aren’t told often enough how much they’re appreciated. This is a reminder. You could be the guy with a dark sense of humor, or a girl whose laugh sounds high and frilly, or someone who simply stands in the background… no matter what, there are people who appreciate you for being exactly what you are.

Here are some joys I find in life: watching sunset from on top of a hill squeezing my boyfriend’s shoulder or making him laugh, snuggling under comfy blankets, and sipping hot tea on a cold morning.

I hope this note reminds you of what and who makes you happy.

Now go and have a good day J

I wonder if the person who finds it will actually appreciate it. I tried to write it so that it wouldn’t come off as untrue- because really, if you don’t know a person, how can they believe that you’re right when you tell them they’re beautiful? So I just tried to be general, and I hope that whoever picks it up is someone like me who would enjoy the mystery of whoever put it there. But even if that person picks it up and throws it away, I still had fun writing it.

Monday, March 4, 2013

Goals of the Week 33

My b/p goal for last week was to eat each meal at its proper time. I mostly did that, although I did end up eating dinner before five every day. Mostly though I was able to stave off the hunger pangs before lunch, even when I was in the lunch room waiting for my boyfriend. So I will call that a success. My new goal is to make entirely healthy choices for a whole week. That means no dessert if I can help it, no diet soda, more salad instead of pizza, and more veggies and fruits overall.

My goal last week revolved around the vending machine again... I used it 6/7 days this week, but two of those days I borrowed money from my bf so that I could complete my goal. He doesn't really care that I use his loose change but I feel bad because I know I probably won't pay it back, and also because if he weren't around I would have broken my goal. I'm going to stick with this one, because I only used money 4/7 days, which is an improvement over 5/7 days. So my goal for this week is to use money 3/7 days and no more.

What are your goals?

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Treatment Options

The whole point of ED awareness week is that people will recognize if themselves or their loved ones need treatment, and then get them into treatment. I’m a big believer in treatment, maybe partially because being an ED therapist is my dream job, but also because I really do think it helps. Even if you don’t want to get better doing something to facilitate recovery is good because it can teach you skills you may want or need in the future.

So here are some ideas about what kinds of treatment you can pursue if you ever feel like it.

1. Go to a psych hospital

Maybe inpatient, maybe partial, maybe outpatient. I was never an inpatient so I have no idea what it’s like, but my outpatient experience was pretty chill. Everyone was nice and I got lots of resources to use later on.

2. Participate in a treatment study

This one would be kind of hard to do unless you’re directed towards the study, but if you can get into one I think it’s a great option. Not only do you get free treatment, but you get to help others in the future!

3. See an individual therapist

I like seeing a therapist. I’m not right now because I have too much school work to attend to, but for me therapy is a nice place to deal with stupid things no one else would really care about. No one except my bf knows that I used to see one, and even if they did know, no one would have to know what I was seeing her for.

4. Take prescription drugs

You’d have to get them by going to a psychiatrist, but they can be helpful. Again, I’ve never had experience with that, because I believe I can and need to get better without drugs, but they’re a good resource to have.

5. Overeaters Anonymous Meetings

I plan on doing this over the summer. According to their official website, if you become a member you get to have the support of the meetings, you get a sponsor to help you when you’re tempted by an entire chocolate cake, and you have a place to talk outright about your addiction to food without feeling like a glutton.

6. ED support group meetings

Apparently they’re out there somewhere. I haven’t been able to attend or find any in my area, but if I did I would definitely go.

7. Family therapy

This option is great if your family will participate because the more people you get involved with your recovery the better your chances are. It does mean that your family would have to know about your disorder though…

8. Tell all your friends and use them for support

I’m never doing this, at least in the foreseeable future, but I know it would be a huge step in the right direction. Using your friends for support is great because it gets more people involved. Plus you get closer to your friends!

That’s all I can think of at the moment. Are there others I’m missing? What do you think of all these options?

Friday, March 1, 2013

Celebrities with Eating Disorders

I got lazy and didn't write a real post for today; instead I looked online and researched famous people who have had eating disorders. Most of them say they have recovered- their ED bios are like "she suffered from anorexia and bulimia from 14-18" or something like that. Good for them if they have recovered, but I also wonder if they're being a little dishonest. After all, if people have EDs before all the stress induced by fame, wouldn't it make sense to have even more problems with the extra attention?
On the other side of that, I think it's amazing that these people are even coming clean about their struggles.
Anyway, here's the list.

1.Elton John

2.Princess Diana

3.Jane Fonda

4.David Beckham

5.Audrey Hepburn

6.Paula Abdul

7.Demi Lovato

8.Ashlee Simpson

9.Calista Flockhart

10.Geri Halliwell

11.Mary-Kate Olsen

12.Sharon Osbourne