Today I went to the zoo with one of my friends. The event was "date party" but not everyone brings actual dates.
We weren't signed up for a group, so we joined one with my lovely friend Chris (male) in it.
Chris and I have a long horrible history of hating each other and acting awful. Currently we're something like friends with benefits, and we have an agreement where he does nothing with girls unless I ok it and I do nothing with guys unless he oks it.
At the zoo, his friend who invited him was pretty flirty. I didn't care until I noticed that HE was the one initiating everything, including holding her hand (interlocking fingers, guys) and walking with arms around each other.
In my book, that's making a move, and I was mad about that for a couple reasons.
1. I did not say it was ok, and he was doing it RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.
2. He used to do that to me when we were dating. This either means that he wants to date this girl, or that what he did with me didn't mean anything. The latter makes me feel worse.
I feel betrayed. I just want to cry and lie in my bed and not talk to him.
I don't have any answers, but I do know that he made a public display of breaking your agreement. You no longer have to honor it and he has proven himself unworth your trust. I know you're exploring your sexuality right now, and the #1 most important thing even in alternative relationships is respect. A guy who doesn't respect you doesn't deserve you.
ReplyDeleteI don't know much about him or your current relationship with him, but it sounds pretty clear that he blatantly broke your agreement. Not that his behavior was okay, but is he clear that your agreement relates to stuff like flirting and hand holding as well as sexy stuff? I wish I had better advice to give. But I think you need to talk to him about it. Stand your ground. It's like that saying - 'Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.'. He needs to respect you and your agreement, otherwise he doesn't deserve your friendship let alone benefits.
ReplyDeletexx
i don't know anything about relationships. not at all. he sounds like an absolute jackass though for doing that IN FRONT OF YOU OF ALL PLACES. it's cold, it's horrible and it's not something that you should do. you should call him out on it. i'm sad to see that the guys you know are not like the guys that i know - that will never break your heart if you'd give it to them because they're such sweeties. you deserve so much better than whatever it is he is giving you. your relationship doesn't sound clear, but there are clear points and that was one of them and he obviously disrespected you and in a sense, he did it right in front of you with no disregard to how you feel about it.
ReplyDeleteit is not okay at all. he does not deserve to be around your presence my dear. you deserve far better than whatever he is giving you.
i hope you're going to feel better and that you're okay. don't waste your energy hating him for what he did or angry at him - he's not worth that energy. instead, do something you want to do. i hope you haven't b/ped out the frustration or anything of the like. i hope that you feel better soon and we are always around for you. <3
take care, Emily.
i hope nothing i said offended you or disrespected you. i have been feeling that way with every comment i do write for some reason and if i said anything that made you feel worse for whatever reason, please disregard it. you're a fighter and a lovely creature and i would hate to know i've displeased you.
<3
-Sam Lupin
As the most jaded person possible right now my response might seem lame but it might also help who knows? Unless you can see yourself with him in 10 years with a kid and a mortgage don't stress about him. And make sure the orgasm balance is equal in any relationship.
ReplyDeleteWhy do you even bother with him? No sex is that good...
ReplyDeleteJust let him go and you will feel much better. I am sure of it
Do what you feel is best on this particular day - one day at a time baby!
ReplyDeletexo L.R, from Bulimia, Behind Me
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