I’m sorry. I’ve put you through a lot, even though it’s been under the guise of taking as good care of you as I can. I’m sorry for scratching your throat with my long fingernails. I’m sorry for throwing up so much that acid eroded your esophagus and teeth. I’m sorry that I refused to give you food when you were starving. I’m sorry I made you eat your own fat and muscle tissue in order to stay alive. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you how much I love you. I’m sorry I kept saying that I hate you, over and over again.
I promise from now on to take good care of you. I will exercise within my limits, to give you a nice healthy inner cleaning, but I will not run until my tendons creak and my breath barely comes into my lungs. I will eat good foods, sticking to my meal plan to ensure that you get enough of the nutrients you deserve. (of course, I will eat more vegetables than the meal plan allows right now, but I’ll wait to add that) I will eat foods that satisfy my desires, like cake and cookies, but only in small portions, so that I don’t crave or binge. I will relax when I need to and I will listen to you. I will not punish you for things you cannot control, like when you gain weight, or when you get hungry. I promise.
You know, the only reason I messed up is because I want you to be your best. I know how important you are to me, and I never intended to do permanent damage. My mistake was that I didn’t love you for who you are. I only loved you for what you could be, and when I found out that you couldn’t live up to my expectations, I abused you unfairly.
It’s ok. I love you now. And I will try my best to love you forever. No matter if you make mistakes, or do something I don’t like, I will treat you well, and we can resolve our problems with each other in gentle ways.
I hope you can forgive me.