Something I never understood is the idea that an eating disorder could be another identity besides your own. In other words, I’m me, and the eating disorder is another person that manifests itself in my body, causing me to act certain ways, say certain things, etc. For me, that never made sense. I am Emily, and I have an eating disorder. It’s part of me. And when I do something bad because of the eating disorder (like stealing food), that’s not someone else doing it. It’s me. And even if I’m in on a hunger rampage and don’t feel like I can control the things I do, I still do them, and I still pay the consequences. For me, pretending that the eating disorder controls me is just an excuse for bad behaviors I take part in. Alcoholics have to take responsibility for their addictions. I have to take responsibility for mine.
Otherwise I’m just an enabler.