Tuesday, February 12, 2013

You Look Skinny

It happened yesterday. I was sitting down after running and my suitemate came up to me and started chatting. "You look thinner," she said. 
I do? I look thinner? I've only lost 4 pounds in the past month and most of that was binge weight anyway. 
When she said this to me my first reaction wasn't joy. Instead it was this mix of queasiness and guilt that formed a ball in the pit of my stomach. I don't believe I look thinner- in fact, I believe my stomach sticks out even more than it used to. So I felt guilty for somehow "tricking" her into thinking I'm skinnier. It's like I was tricking her into believing I'm a better person than I am. The queasiness came from surprise, probably. 
But I did not feel good. 
I don't think this has ever happened to me before. I wasn't called skinny until I lost a lot of weight, like 15 pounds, last time. And by that time I felt that I deserved it, even though I wanted to be even more skinny. Actually, I don't think I've ever been called skinny by someone who didn't have a bias towards me. 
My family calls me thin sometimes, and back when I was restricting and overexercising they said it more than usual. My old boss said I was "too skinny" in a joking way- that I needed to eat meatballs to get more muscle. I didn't count him because he was just kidding. None of my friends called me skinny. None of them noticed that I had lost a lot of weight, probably because I made new friends after losing the weight. 
My reaction does not bode well. It's making me want to lose more weight so that I can truly be skinnier and that way I won't be lying to my suitemate. I should feel good that people think I'm skinny. 

How do you react when someone notices you've lost weight?  


  1. I can remember almost every comment anyone ever made about my weight
    I have to admit that I do get a little buzz when someone says that I look like I've lost weight
    Recently A lot of people have been telling me that I look well
    To me that means that I look like I've gained weight
    I know they mean well but I hate when people pass comment like that
    I never comment on other peoples weight
    You just don't know how they are going to take it x

  2. I've never really had people notice. I don't go out enough to, I think. On the rare occasion I see old friends, they don't say anything really though I've had dramatic weight loss (65lb) since I last saw them.
    Most know I have anorexia, and I guess they're smart enough to not comment.
    That said, I've had a lot of people tell me I look 'healthy' even when I'm at my worst. My ex's mother was the worst, but I still hear it all the time from other people.


  3. I hate when people bring up wt. When I work as a wt loss counselor sure it made sense, no one what's a nutritionist that is overwt. Now at work in the psy hospital nurses wil say how skinny I am or how I have a great shape and like you I feel like I am lying to them. "No no no, your not seeing the real me silly". I always feel like they are grading on a curve though because most of them are overwt. But I have learned to just say thanks and take it as a compliment, I look good right now, that is what they are trying to tell me.
    So your roommate thinks you look good, there is nothing wrong with that. It doesn't have to mean anything more then that.

  4. I never know what to say. I feel like if I say "thank you" they will somehow see that I am TRYING to be skinny and my secret will be out. But at the same time I feel like if I blow it off it will be seen as me thinking i'm fat and again...my secret will be out.

  5. yeah i know the binge weight thing, but it actually makes a huge difference. :] especially since there's a lot of bloat involved with the b/p cycle and a lot of people say that their faces swell up and they start looking like a chipmunk when they b/p, so might just be 4lbs but you might definitely look thin.
    well my first reaction is joy and thats just about it. it motivates me to carry on with whatever im doing then.
    -Sam Lupin

  6. I hate it when people bring it up.. I have A WHOLE LOT of weight to get rid of - so when they say something (and it's a person I know cares) - I just give them the number, smile and say thanks.. What happens in my head though - that's another story hehe


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