Gaining

I just finished reading Aimee Liu’s book Gaining. It was a very interesting book, full of great personal anecdotes from the author as well as many many people who have recovered from eating disorders. The book really treats eating disorders as serious diseases, and gives the problem the respect it deserves. It also addresses multiple perspectives on eating disorders, from the causes to the recoveries to the behaviors. It was a great read, simply because I could see myself in every page. What the book didn’t do was give me motivation to recover. Lots of the recovered anorexics, including the author, from the looks of her picture, are still very thin, and many sound like they’re rather attractive. Recovery from anorexia seems so much safer than recovery from bulimia, because it you’re anorexic then you have leeway to gain some weight. If you’re bulimic, you’re already a normal weight, so…

My current plan is to ride out the rest of the summer, maybe try hard to lose weight before I head back to school, but once school starts, I want to eat as little as possible.  

Who am I kidding? I’ve only failed at losing weight so far.