We've all been there. Feeling like we don't want to recover and then just letting bulimia or anorexia take over for a while until we can struggle back to our feet.
That's kind of where I am right now, especially with being in a house full of food and people with feelings that I can't avoid.
That would be fine if it were just me, but I'm in a study and I feel like I'm being a bad patient. I'm not monitoring my food choices, I'm making no effort to use any skills, and I'm certainly not doing any worksheets.
I care about the treatment they're giving me, and I'm tremendously grateful for it. But what if it's all for nothing? What if I'm just too lazy to do it right? Or not sick enough yet?
I don't think there's such a thing as a bad patient, but I do want the therapist to feel like she's being helpful. Is that enough reason to pick myself up? Not yet. But soon.
Hang in there Emily
ReplyDeleteMotivation is hard to keep up all day every day
It's like the tide, it comes and it goes
But you are doing so well
You are fighting
You are moving forward
Try not to be so hard on yourself
You are doing your best, I can see that
Be gentle with yourself
Be kind to yourself
Take good care of you x
Stay strong hon <3
ReplyDeleteIt'll never be all for nothing, you can do this! xxx
ReplyDelete