In my first session of therapy, Laura (therapist) said that self worth comes from existing.
I didn't believe that when she told it to me, and after some thinking, I still don't believe it (not that it's wrong, it's just not my opinion).
Where do we get our worth from? How do we justify feeling good about ourselves?
My guess is that if you just existed and sat around all day you wouldn't feel that great. I know I'd feel bored, useless, not really worthy of much. If you did horrible things to people all day that probably wouldn't cut it either, even though you're still existing.
Also, I don't think anyone derives their self-worth from their existence. Do you?
Or do you derive it from actions you do, feelings you have, plans for the future?
My self-worth comes from things I've done that I'm proud of. For example, my new job at the nursing home makes me feel worthy because I'm doing a job most wouldn't care to do. I'm doing my best to help people and make their days better. I feel worthy when I comfort someone. I feel worthy when I work hard at something and succeed.
There was one day when I was at church and I was sitting apart from my mother. The woman next to me started crying and eventually I reached out and took her hand. She squeezed it hard and held on. I can't be sure, but I think I made her day a little brighter because of it. That memory alone gives me a warm glow because I feel good about giving her my support and that I helped her.
Episodes like those are what I would use for justification if I were to go before God and argue that I deserve to go to Heaven.
Episodes like those are what help me still believe that I'm a good person even when I've done things like steal food.
I do think that everyone deserves to feel good about themselves. Everyone has done good things in their lives (even if it's a small thing, like being friendly to someone or hugging your parents), and one good thing can outweigh 100 bad. I just hope they feel good for the right reasons. Otherwise, if you felt like your worth didn't depend on what you did, what's to stop you from hurting people all the time?
What do you think? Where does your self-worth come from?