Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Parents' Responsibility

A lot of us have parents who know we have EDs. 
Why don't we send them away to treatment? Or make us go to a therapist or something. My mom told me she thought I had an ED when I was in my bout anorexia. I was 13 and I didn't really even know what anorexia was. She could have sent me to a counselor and I wouldn't have resisted. Why didn't she? Was she afraid? Does she think counseling is only for weaklings? Did she now know how to proceed? Did she think it didn't matter enough? 
   Again during junior year o high school she told me she thought I was obsessed with working out. I refused to believe her, but she kept telling me.
  Who knows if treatment would've helped, especially in the second case. But it couldn't have hurt. I do wish she had done something. Maybe I would have realized sooner that I needed to get out of the cycle. 
   I can't blame her either. Even if people know about our EDs, there are a lot of reasons not to interfere. I just wish parents would be able to see what's best for us and do it.

Do you wish your parents had forced you to go to treatment? 


  1. I was close. Mom later told me I was 1/4 of a pound away. I don't think I knew I had it really. I just sort of learned to obsess about bones on my own and I didn't count calories as much as I would only eat small portions and didn't do bread. I don't know though. I didn't know until after that that's what I was doing. Maybe she should have so I could have learned to cope with my emotions. Good question. I'm struggling to answer it.

  2. My mum has, years ago. Only 6-9 months after I developed Anorexia, my mum took me to the emergency room. I was given a referral to an ED psych. The next day, at the appointment, he sectioned me under the Mental Health Act. Boom - two weeks in medical, a month on an ED ward. Followed by outpatient. Followed by relapse. I'll never return to an ED ward - there wasn't even basic counseling. It's just a Weight Gain ward.

    These days, mum won't force me into treatment or to see a psychiatrist. She understands it won't work until my mindset changes. She will, and has, taken me to hospital against my will when I've been in medical crisises. On times I've refused, she calls ambulances. Obviously at this point I'm not strong enough to physically fight or run.

    Basically, she'll only force me into hospital now if my life's in immediate danger (more reasons than just my weight). I avoid psychs like the plague so I can't be sectioned. It's always only a matter of time though, and I'm well overdue for a crisis. There's no way she, or anyone else, can force me to really recover though. It's something that can't happen until I've come to terms with it. It's a catch-22 because no one will give me therapy/counseling until I'm at a healthier weight, which I never got. It's bullshit.

    Most of my issues with treatment are due to how the system works here. Prior to my ED, I'd already had four psychiatric inpatient admissions, and was totally fine with it. EDs are just grossly mishandled under current protocol. xx

  3. to be honest, i don't wish anything to change in my situation, because i like the person i am today as i've been shaped the way i am because i overcome the things i did and that is a gorgeous thing, really.
    i realised if i really want it - i don't need pills or a counsellor to recover (and it's not an option for me anyway). i can do a lot of it on my own if i want, and even if i live all my life wanting to get to a thin ideal, at least i'm eating properly and not abusing my body in the ways i used to do.
    i think that parents and most other people don't actually understand how hard it is for us. they're not in our minds. they don't know how hard it is to eat, not to eat, to binge, to purge. hell, my Mother knew i was puking up my food. she didn't see it as a big problem and still told me to exercise like all the time even now. i don't think she knows how much i'm actually struggling with this, and she just doesn't get it. and i don't give a damn if she does - because i'm not her and if my children (which i'll never have so they live in an alternative universe) developed an ED, i would be fucking devastated.
    -Sam Lupin

  4. I have thought the same as you. My parents were never the type to take me to a hospital if anything happened. They wait till it gets worse or for it to heal.(ex: I got these big masquito thick bumps all over my body everyday, and my mom finally took me to a clinic after 10 days) So I feel theyd do the same even if they knew I had an eating disorder. It's not that they dont care, im sure, but itd be nice if theyd think a bit deeper, huh?

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