I must be stupid or something, because I decided to challenge myself and major in something that I have absolutely no talent for. Psychology is easy. I get it and I love it. Computer science, not so much.
Invariably, I find myself sitting on a couch, letting Ed stuff food into my mouth while my head pounds from exasperation.
Me: I can't do this!
Ed: You're just stressed. You need to calm down.
Me: You're right.
Ed: Why don't you eat a salad?
Me: But I'm saving that for dinner.
Ed: Eat it now and skip dinner. It doesn't make a difference.
Me: But I'm full.
Ed: It'll calm your nerves. And once you're done eating you can go back to working. It'll all make sense after 20 minutes.
Me: No, I don't think I want to do that.
Ed: You're right, a salad isn't going to work. What you need is a brownie. I've got some money for you.
Me: That's my money.
Ed: What's money anyway? Go buy yourself a nice delicious brownie. It'll get you off the couch and give you a break.
Me: Well... ok.
I need to find a way to break this. Today I used the skill of telling myself that I was full and that there was no use in bingeing more even though I'd already gone over my calorie limit.
What do others do to assuage binge urges related to schoolwork?
I called the counseling office and apparently I need to talk to my old therapist before I can even think about getting a new one. Which means I might be on my own for a few weeks, as she's not being very proactive about returning my calls.
In regards to your major, do you know what kind of work you want to do after you graduate? Both of the areas you mentioned lend themselves to many different jobs and I am a firm believer in finding work that you will enjoy. There is no point inworking towards a job you will hate. Follow your instincts.
ReplyDeletehmmm that's interesting, sweetie.
ReplyDeleteit makes sense. i think the only way to break a cycle for me is to plan for the urge - basically, when i have an urge to eat, i tell myself that i can have x or y, not any of that. and most times, i don't even want x or y so it just tones down. another thing is just to either resist until it doesn't become a problem. it is hard, isn't it though? Ed is an ass and a manipulative one x
take care sweetie
i hope things work for you
-Sam Lupin
PS. Josie did have a point with what she said. what do you want to be? i think you have to think about this a bit now here x
Is it too late to change to psychology, the subject you love and understand? You need to follow your heart.
ReplyDeleteOne way to avoid binging: I used to take myself to the library to do my work where it was impossible to binge. You just have to be really careful that you don't have the urge to binge when you get back home, but you're strong, you can get through this. Believe in yourself!
X