Friday, September 13, 2013

Pros and Cons of Telling my Boyfriend

1. He'd know, and there would be no secrets between us
2. He could offer support
3. It could strengthen our relationship

1. He would probably dump me
2. He'd think kissing me is disgusting
3. He might tell others

I can imagine him reacting in two ways:
The first way is where I tell him, and he hugs me. And then he asks what he can do.
The second way is where I tell him, and he hugs me. And then he says he doesn't want to date me until I'm recovered. 
To which I would have to reply: "That could be forever."

I don't think he'd dump me because of disgust, although he might be disgusted either way. 

Last time I told my bf it went really well. We cried about it, shared secrets, and accepted each other. And he tried to be a support for me. 

I think maybe waiting a longer time might be a good idea. Until he's hooked, and then there will be less of a chance that he'll dump me. The other thing with that is that he might construe that as me having lied to him during our relationship, which would not end well. 


  1. It cracked me up when you said just date him until he's hooked. I'm pretty sure he's hooked haha. I think you should tell him. My bf knows and even knew me back when the worst was happening, even if he didn't understand what was going on. I can't remember so much because of being so bad in it. He told me maybe we could start a journal to record memories from our teen Yeats. I loved it. So see? It can be good. I know it seems scary but I think he'll love you regardless.

  2. I told my fiance about my ed about 6 months after we had been dating and I still have mixed feelings about it. I'm sometimes glad he knows because I feel like he knows me better now, but a lot of the time I wish I hadn't told him at all. It's a lot harder to get away with ed related things once your significant other knows. That could be a good or bad thing for you I suppose.

  3. Even though it was short lived, when I told G, I was super anxious and didn't cry but came close. I did it when we were both in a happy, relaxed place, and it went well. He doesn't sound like the type to turn away in disgust. But maybe give it some time, but not too long, you know? Ease in to it.

  4. Though I can't say for sure, I don't think he'd go around telling other people, or dump you for having an ED. He's been your friend for a long time, I can't imagine he'd be so harsh. I think it could be a good idea to wait a little longer. Maybe it's not a matter of if you should tell him, but when you should tell him?

    Take care love, whatever you decide. I'm still so happy for you two! <3 xxxx

  5. yeah
    as Bella stated
    this bloke was your friend for a while. I think the first bit is more likely than the second to be honest. like...if you're friends with someone for long enough, you really don't want to let them go no matter what! that's the good thing about it. i'm one of those people that just has to say it first few times because it'll be on my mind and i'll be thinking of reactions and things that could go wrong until i actually do it and out of all the people that I've told about my ED, none of them reacted negatively to it. but they do treat it lightly.
    my friend actually jokes about how food things are for me, and i do not take it personally at all! i laugh along with her. today, i was just standing in the canteen with the purpose of picking out something to eat and she's just like "are you here to buy something to eat or just look at it?" funnily, i wanted to say 'of course i eat' but ended up getting a coffee instead. highlight of the day

    -Sam Lupin
    PS. good luck, sweetie. x i hope things pan out for you.

  6. This is something we all struggle with. I think in the end, it's always better to tell them and have them in the loop. There are some days where I wish I wouldn't have told my bf, but it makes it easier to tell him why I'm always crying. I hope you come to a good decision.


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