Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Manipulative Things an Ex Says


You don’t understand: I have NOTHING.
It’s easy for you, you have a life.
I’ll never stop loving you.
The only thing I live for is working to get back to you.
I’ll never meet anyone else because you are the perfect woman.
If you date someone else it won’t be your fault, it will just be me getting screwed over in the last way possible.
Why am I the only one who has hope that we’ll get back together?
You don’t care about me.

What am I supposed to say?
I still care about him, but I don’t believe we’ll ever meet again, and frankly, I want to date other people.
I don’t ever initiate contact with him, but he bombards me with messages that break my heart and make me mad.
A part of me likes that he still loves me, although that will probably fade away eventually, but it makes me feel incredibly mad and guilty for trying to move on. Is it so wrong to want to be happy?
What to do?

9 comments:

  1. don't go back to him! those manipulative messages show his true nature - you deserve better than that. cut him off altogether and he'll eventually get through it. (good luck whatever your decision though!)

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  2. You cry. lol (my recent answer to everything stressful haha). Oh gosh let me just give you a list!
    "I'm trying to better myself for you!"
    "Four and a half years meant nothing to you because you left me for him!"
    "You should have left when you had a reason to, not when things were getting better."
    "I'm not going to be able to move on for some time."
    "You lead me on by talking to me."
    On and on and on and on.

    As you know, I've talked endlessly about my feelings towards him but I get the feeling you have more of a back bone than I do and it wasn't abusive emotionally. That makes it easier. We also had a lot of hurt on hurts towards each other so no one had a good grounding excuse for leaving or who was more hurtful. It came down to the fact that I love him and I miss him as a person, but our relationship was less than desirable. The good didn't outdo the bad. For a while he said me telling him I love and miss him led him on. I can see that. He said me thinking about us when he asked led him on. Fair enough. I'm human. you're human. There's really no reason to have to justify the fact that you want out. It's more hurtful to stay when you don't want to be with that person. (I told him that, he said you can refall in love, which he had to do with me when I cheated. Manipulation.)

    You can't let others dictate your feelings and dictate what you do. If you spend your whole life trying to make others comfortable, you lose. I would tell him you love him but need space. It doesn't mean you care less but it means that for now, you're just done.
    Good luck. Hang tight dear. I know it sucks.

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  3. I understand sweetie. My ex said things like that to me for the longest time. I felt guilty time and time again for moving on and here we are 2 years later, and he still hasn't moved on. I don't know why for sure.
    But you don't need to feel guilty. Things didn't work out for a reason and you deserve to be happy. I hope you do one day find what you are looking for. HugsXOXO

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  4. I'm sorry you have to put up with this hun. He's hurting and probably a tad confused, but it doesn't give him the right to manipulate and guilt-trip you. You deserve to be happy and free. Do you respond to these messages? If you can, it might be worth telling him not to contact you, even just for a week or two until he cools off.
    You're in my thoughts dear <3 xx

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  5. Gosh, you must be having a tough time!...
    It sounds like he is missing you and hurting a lot, but like everyone else above has said, do not let his words manipulate you! You have every right to move on with your life and make your own decisions!
    Good luck and be strong hun! <3
    xoxo

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  6. Ignore him, love. The only thing you can do is focus on what makes YOU happy, not anyone else. Do whatever it takes to ignore his messages, delete them before you have a chance to read them to keep from getting caught up in the emotional pull. If you have the urge to see other people, he probably isn't the one for you. I can understand the lure of having someone be madly in love with you, though, even if you don't necessarily love him back in the same way. Despite what everyone else may think, it is ok to be selfish when it comes to your mental clarity. Take some time to focus on yourself, and what you want out of life.
    i hope this helps :)
    I came across your blog and I cant wait to read more
    many well wishes, and much love
    xoxo
    Daisy

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  7. He is weak to his own feelings. Yes he suffers now, but if you went back to him and he messed up again (or you left) the same thing would happen to him.
    I think you are stronger.

    Weakness makes people uncomfortable and desperate. I know weakness intimately...
    If i was you i would be a surgeon that cuts up his feelings. I'd try to cure him, but i'd probably just leave a bloody mess. I don't think you would like to be me.

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  8. I honestly have no clue, love. I think that he's hurting and is confused and didn't expect the break-up at all which is why he's clinging. he's just hurting so he's diffusing that pain onto you, in hopes of getting back to where you were before. like he's willing to forget it all happening but not willing to accept things as they are.
    I think the only thing you could possibly do in this situation is just explain that you care about him. I think the hardest thing for me whenever a relationship falls apart is that things are changing. things won't change just because you're not interested romantically in someone. they still have the memory intact with them. they have seen parts of yourself that nobody else has.
    think about it. if he'd broken up with you, what would you do? what would you feel? what would you want to hear or want that person to do?
    for me, assurance is always the answer for some reason x
    hope this helps, love. I hope you have a good week! try to keep it as b/p free as possible ^_^ you're an inspiration, doll. don't forget that x

    -Sam Lupin

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  9. My ex dumped me because he’s been talking to someone else (even when we were still living together). The problem is I was 6 months pregnant with his baby, so it maked it that much harder for me to move on. I knew I treated him like sh*t throughout our relationship, but I learned my lesson and I wanted him back. I order love spell from her website http://magical-rituals.com , I was waiting 3 months, and my lover back to me.

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Thanks for commenting! I appreciate it :)