My family will say that I’m obnoxious, but I’ve always been wary of expressing myself around others. I’m good at acting, but acting is becoming someone else, and what I do on stage has no bearing on my worth as a human being. But if I publish a poem and then show it to people, or write about my life, I get really defensive. This blog is even a struggle sometimes because you guys know my first name, so if someone I know stumbles across it, there’s a one in a million chance they could guess who I am. (instead of zero chance)
Lately, I’ve been trying to force myself to be more expressive. A few months ago I published a poem on a social website instead of anonymously. I hung up my drawings instead of sticking them in a folder where no critic could lay eyes on them.
My hope is that getting more comfortable expressing myself will get me to be more open with people. Or with myself. Who knows!
There are a lot of good things that can come of learning to express yourself. The risk is that someone will become egotistical or that your vulnerabilities will be exploited. I’m extremely worried about both of those things happening, increasingly the first one. (And ironically, the more I get worried that I’m selfish the more selfish I become, because then all my thoughts are directed inwards)
How do you express yourself? Not only would I enjoy hearing about it, but I could use some ideas.