No one in their right mind wants to develop an eating
disorder. Those that say they do already have disordered thoughts and beliefs. Eating
disorders are acts of desperation for a variety of reasons. People are driven
to them and they are controlled by them from the very beginning, not the other
way around.
There are people out there who like being as skinny as an
eating disorder will take them. Or rather, they feel more comfortable being
that skinny versus a little bigger. This doesn’t mean they chose the disorder.
It means they’re already controlled by the disorder and they’re acting on
beliefs ingrained in them by what the disorder has taught them.
There are people who like their eating disorders. That does
not mean those people chose them. EDs are coping mechanisms, so it makes sense
that people would have some affinity for them. Again, they are controlled by
the beliefs their ED has taught them instead of choosing for themselves.
There are people who might even say that they chose an ED as
a lifestyle. I’m sorry but no. People are scammed, tricked, and forced into
eating disorders by beliefs, circumstances, and feelings. Even if someone feels
like she’s in control, she’s not. And no one, not even herself, can do anything
about it.
One more thing: I have a real problem with people saying
that eating disordered individuals choose their disorders because this puts the
blame on the ones with the illness. And blame just makes everything worse. It
makes you feel bad, and then guilty, which drives you to cope through eating
disordered behaviors, which just compounds itself over and over and over again.
If you want people to get better, you can’t blame them.
This post was exactly what I was thinking about. I remember, I used to wish I didn't have to eat (before I developed my ED) and that way I could just be skinnier. But now that I have it, I don't exactly want to get rid of it. I have had people tell me that it is my fault, and I guess I agree with them. But not in a bad way.
ReplyDeleteI really don't mind having my ED, and I don't want recovery.
Your thinking is kind of like mine. I'm bulimic and I hate it, but if I became anorexic I would probably want to keep my disorder because it would give me those numbers on the scale that I so desperately want.
DeleteI totally agree that no one in their right mind wants to develop an eating disorder. But I also think that all of us with eating disorders aren't really in our right mind.. (I don't mean to offend anyone, it's just my opinion). I didn't chose my disorder, but I embrace it. If you truly have a disorder, you have a problem. Even if you don't treat it as a problem (like me).
ReplyDeleteI completely agree. Even if we're completely happy with our disorders, we're not in our right minds. And that's probably fine with some people. (like you it seems from the comment)
DeleteI don't know if it's better to be that way or hate your disorder. Which makes someone more happy?
Desperation,anger,sadness,feeling worthless that's what led me to my ED. Kind of a last chance once you tried everything else to feel better...but in the end nothing was really your choice...If it was a choice, than most people would get rid of it the minute they see things are wrong and they have no control anymore...
ReplyDeletewell said.
DeleteOh how I really enjoy reading every one of your posts. I always get excited when there's a new entry : )
ReplyDeleteIt's true though. I thought I just wanted to loose weight at first, and it never seemed to be low enough, and before I even knew it, I started purging. I wanted to stop with all this dieting and b/p processes but I just can't and I can't even imagine getting back to those days where I didn't care for a single calorie I ate.
Thanks!
DeleteYeah, it's a vicious cycle. :( I hope that one day we'll all look back on ourselves and think "gosh I used to be so out of my mind." And maybe someday we won't care about calories again.
Probably not.