I’m coming completely from my own experience with this, so
of course there’s no right answer to this question. But what would I want my
parents to do if I told them for the first time that I had an eating disorder?
1.
I wouldn’t want them to get on my back about it.
Especially if I’m the one telling them, because that probably means that I want
to recover. Wouldn’t you hate it if your family was always telling you to eat
more or following you to the bathroom? Maybe some people need it, but I feel
like it would just make me angry, which wouldn’t help anything.
2.
Talk about it. This is one thing I wish my
parents did. Because I’m very afraid to talk about my eating disorder with
anyone. So if they had an open conversation with me, where they weren’t afraid
to say terms like binging or purging or bulimia, and where they were just curious
about the disorder rather than worried, it would make me feel better about them
knowing.
3.
Make an effort to change. If you are a parent
and your child says she has an eating disorder and you ask what you can do to
help, TAKE THE ADVICE. I told my mom it would help not to have desserts in the
house, and nothing changed for a while. I was pretty mad, because it seemed
like she didn’t care about my needs at that time. I mean, isn’t protecting your
daughter from an eating disorder more important than satisfying your sweet
tooth all the time?
4.
Accept that I have an ED. My dad told me during
the summer that he saw no evidence that I had an eating disorder. I still
remember it because I was so hurt by that comment. Just because someone looks
healthy and hides their behaviors doesn’t mean they’re not sick.
5.
Do not speed recovery. There was a girl in the
treatment center who had this problem. Her mother yelled at her because she’d
been in treatment for a month and was still purging. That really doesn't help.
What are things you wish your parents had done, things they have done, or things you hope they'll do once you tell them? If any parents read this, what are your thoughts?
How I wish my parents/family would do this. They don't know, but I couldnt take it anymore and told my sister, told her I wanted help because I can't stop my b/p cycles. I was hoping she would tell my parents because I just can't but she just told me "I dont know what to do either." haha
ReplyDeleteNow I just feel awkward when shes around but I tried..
It's good that you could tell your sister! If my sibs found out I would die of embarassment.
DeleteI'm blessed to have a really supportive family
ReplyDeleteMaybe because addiction is rife in my family
My parents don't bring up my eating disorder unless I do
That way I only have to talk about it when I feel ready
I also try to let them know what I'm doing
If I'm trying not to purge I ask them not to have binge food in the house
They really are great
If love and support could get me well I would have gotten well a long time ago x
If only that were the only medicine we needed...
DeleteI'm glad you have a supportive family. It's always better to have support than to not have any.
ReplyDeleteYes, I agree. It's always hard to take that first step in getting yourself support though.
DeleteMy mom's trying her best to be supportive but it's not easy. She keeps telling me how I shouldnt fry nything because it makes the stove dirty. That just makes me eat fry things and binge on them every single day. I told her that but she just doesn't get it. It's not her fault though, I'm the crazy one.
ReplyDeleteDoes she try to understand though? Kudos to you for telling her about ways she can help!
Delete