Yesterday I was talking to Chris for some unknown reason, and afterwards I started crying because I felt like an awful person.
And something occurred to me.
When I cry, I feel fat. For some reason tears are associated with weight gain. It's probably because when i used to restrict I had no emotions and therefore went years without crying. To be honest I still think that's normal.
Now I cry all the time. Like once a week at least, because I get so overwhelmed by anger and sadness and regret. And whenever I cry I feel like I'm crying because I ate too much. If I hadn't been a fatso that day I wouldn't be able to force tears out of my eyes.
Anyone else feel the same way?
Not exactly like this, but I can relate. I also feel the fattest when I cry.
ReplyDeleteI tend to 'feel fat' if I'm feeling a range of negative emotions... Shame, anger, disgust, sadness, guilt. I know they say fat isn't a feeling, but I think it's a way of expressing any negative emotion for me. So if I'm crying, chances are I feel fat, if that makes sense. I've gone through phases where I can't cry, but generally speaking I cry most days.
ReplyDeleteI hope you're feeling a little better today. It's so good to see you back posting.
xx