Today I got to complain about my job. It made me feel a lot better getting everything off my chest, all about my inadequacies and how I feel like I'm not good enough and should be fired. Sometimes talking and having someone reassure you is enough.
But today was mostly about my supposed core belief: I am not good enough.
I came up with that line when she asked me what my core belief was. Is there any such thing as just one core belief? Everything I am does not fall back to the phrase "I am not good enough." I'm sure not all my stress results from thinking this. It's too simple. Nevertheless, it's a thought that I believe and it would be nice to change that.
I'm not good enough at my job. I'm not fast enough.
I'm not a good enough girlfriend because my bf got mad at me a few times over the course of the year and a half we've been dating.
I'm not good enough at programming to get a job doing it.
I'm not good enough at recovery to recover.
I'm not good enough appearance-wise to attract lots and lots of men.
I'm not good enough personality-wise to attract lots and lots of friends.
I'm not smart enough to earn tons of scholarships.
There's more, I just can't think of it right now.
Anyway, the idea of the session was to chance this thought, the "I am not good enough" into "Sometimes I am good enough."
I'd never thought of phrasing it that way before. Because I do believe it. Sometimes what I do is enough. For example, I get up by myself every morning at 6 to go to work.
And putting the thought in a more positive way makes it sound a lot better. It makes ME sound a lot better.
I am good enough to get into orchestra.
I am good enough (appearance) to get a boyfriend.
I am good enough to have a few friends.
I am good enough to get As and Bs in all my classes.
I am good enough to write at least one outstanding story.
I am good enough to stop my binges and purges sometimes.
Still sounds pathetic, but it's better than the first way.