Friday, October 11, 2013

I am About to Become a Horrible Person

Advance warning: 
This post is all about boys again, so you can skip it if you're not interested in ridiculous drama. 

I broke up with my bf of 2 years a month and a half ago. 
Since then, his best friend has been asking me to hang out. Not in the ask me out way, just in a friend way. He even decided to try dancing! "This is great," I thought. "I'm going to make some new friends and it's nice to finally get to know this guy now."

The problem: My ex's best friend is extremely attractive. Not just physically, but personality-wise too. 
And new evidence has arisen that he might be interested in me. 

I thought it was strange enough that he would suddenly have an interest in dancing, but he's been inviting me over every day this week to watch movies. The first time we were with his roommate, so there was no tension. Yesterday he invited me over and we watched two episodes of Breaking Bad. Just the two of us, alone, after midnight. He let me use his legs as footwarmers, and we shared a blanket. After we finished watching the movies, I was going to leave but he said I could stay if I wanted. We "chilled" in his room, both of us on his bed, again under the blanket. I've done this before with guy friends and it didn't mean anything, but last time I was in this one's room he didn't sit next to me, and that along with the fact that he tends to invite girls he likes over for movies makes me wonder.

After I finally left at 2:30 in the morning, he sent me a text saying I should feel free to text him if I ever wanted to watch Breaking Bad again. 

Am I delusional? This guy is very attractive; I have no idea why he would like me. 
But assuming me does...

Would I be a horrible person to go for it? I really like him. 
But then again, he is my ex's BEST friend. Making a move on your ex's best friend or for that matter your ex's girlfriend is just wrong. Especially when you know your ex isn't doing well and has almost no supports. 
You can give me whatever advice you like, but I already know I'm not going to take any of it. The fact is that I didn't sleep at all yesterday because I have butterflies in my stomach, and this guy didn't even kiss me!
I want something to happen. I know it's a bad idea, but I'm going to do it anyway. 
I'm about to become a horrible person. 
And I can't wait. 


  1. to respond to your comment on my post via Cory: oh no. it's just like...they finally killed off his character (i.e. Finn) in the series. it's like...more permanent i guess. i felt like i lost something all over again.
    to your post now:
    im not interested in boys but since it's your post, i'd read it. :)
    you're not a horrible person. you can totally go for your ex's best friend. you're not going to yell it out to the world you're going to be with him. it's understandable.
    and most importantly, you are not a horrible person because it makes sense.
    good luck on your conquest!

    ~Sam Lupin

  2. Awww ^^ To be young and dating... I remember those days lol

    Stop feeling bad about everything.. Just enjoy the ride! If you like him, go for it.. Stop over thinking everything. From what you said it's not hard to see that the guy wants some sort of relationship with you.. Either it being friends, friends with benefits, or good old fashion girlfriend..

    You are not a horrible person.. You are young, and dating! If your ex's BFF doesn't mind breaking the boy code why should you be so worried?

    Srsly.. Stop worring, and have some fun :)

  3. I just want to stop mid-read to tell you CLEARLY he's into you, and I have even finished the first half! Breakin' the bro code dude. :) "Not in the date way..." psh. I actually laughed out loud. HE'S YOUR EX'S BEST FRIEND! He's been into you for a little bit of time, I'm willing to bet.
    Would you be a horrible person? Well, I wouldn't say so. I think in relationships we get so hung up on certain anecdotes. Can't do this, should do this, shouldn't cheat, shouldn't date your ex's friends, can't be friends after. Yah, some of it is bad and it's hurtful but ultimately they're your feelings and it's not like you can absolutely turn off how you feel.
    My ex had basically no supports in his life and I left and had to see someone to get over and away from him so am I terrible? Who knows.
    My advice is that you're young. I'm not going to look back at my life when I'm 50 and think, wow, you were an absolute b***h for seeing that guy while you had a bf when you were in college. I'm going to think, well, that was selfish, but I really enjoyed our time and I'm glad I didn't spend my life wondering what if. See where it goes. I would only caution you to keep it on the down low for a bit out of respect for what you had with your ex and his feelings. He's an adult though, so eventually he'll have to face it if things work out.

    Good luck sweets!

  4. He's definitely into you. Watching movies alone in the middle of the night? Of course he likes you! Between that, sharing a blanket, and his sudden interest in dancing, I'd be shocked if he just wanted to be friends.

    It doesn't make you a horrible person for crushing on your ex's best friend, nor does it make him a horrible person. It's wonderful that he gives you butterflies. Sometimes you find unexpected love in the most unlikely of places. It sounds like all the pieces are falling into place.

    Good luck sweetie *hugs* <3 xx

  5. Definitely does not make you a horrible person. Go for it.

  6. Yes to everyting Kitty ad everyone else wrote. Its dating, its not like you are asking him to father your child! (Btw I advise all my friends to evaluate the birth control method they use.)
    Plus were the guys friends before college or from going to school together? When was the last time he talkedto your ex? And is he a player? If you are ok with all those answers go for, why the hell not! I would assume he is a decent person if your ex and him were/are friends.

  7. boys, boys, boys. Just remember rule #1: bros before hos. You dated him for 2 years, the friend is his friend. Respect yourself, respect their friendship and as much as it sucks, respect your ex. Consider how you would feel if your ex started dating your friend. I've been on the receiving end of it and it sucks. Also, consider what kind of friend he is if he's willing to date his friends ex. Oh there are so many variables. Although, at the end of the day. If it is something that will make you truly happy - fucking gun it, dude. Xo


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