Friday, November 16, 2012

Tell Your Friends You Have an ED

I know that a lot of times people with EDs are afraid to tell their friends about their eating disorder or ask them for help. With good reason, as I‘ll get to later.
I also know that oftentimes people won’t guess that someone has an eating disorder even if presented with pretty obvious evidence. For instance, if someone hears you throwing up in the toilet and you come out and tell them you’re sick, they might just believe you. No one would let that happen, so people have to guess by watching us eat and looking for physical signs, as we won’t let our mental stresses show.
No one guesses, so it’s up to us to tell them.
            Why shouldn’t we?
Well, because:
1.     they might think we’re disgusting
2.     they might not care
3.     they might stop hanging out with us as much
4.     They might become overbearing out of love (although I think this is less likely to happen with friends than with parents)
5.     They might tell someone else

All legitimate reasons. So why should we tell them?
1.     they might help us
2.     they will probably still love us for who we are if they’re truly our friends
3.     they could help us defeat triggers
4.     we can tell them what’s going on with us when we’re in a bad mood because of our EDs

Again, all legitimate reasons. I would say to sort of feel people out before you tell them, to see how they would react. Like you can ask them what they would do if they discovered you had an addiction. And if they don’t fail and if you trust them enough, the benefits of telling outweigh the costs.
I go through all this in my head, and I play out all possible good and bad scenarios on paper, but I still can’t tell people. Only my parents, boyfriend, and therapists know. It’s not hard telling therapists at all, and my parents have probably forgotten I even had a problem by now. My boyfriend and I don’t talk about it too often but he’s always there when I need him. I’m debating telling one of my other close friends, because I trust him and I think he could be very supportive. But what if it ruins his opinion of me? I’m too afraid of the slim chance that he would stop being my friend to get help from him.
What do you guys think?
Have you told people? Are you planning to? What are your reasons for and against?


  1. Most of my friends are either recovering addicts or have eating disorders.
    This is good as we all support each other.

    If I was you I would tell your friend
    If they are true friends they will stand by you no matter what. People are afraid of what they don't understand so some people will walk away but if they do they were never really a true friend.
    You could test the waters by bringing up the subject of eating disorders and see how they react.
    But yea, take the risk and go for it, it's not nice having to hide a massive part of who we are.

    Good luck x

  2. My best friend knows. I told him several months ago and... While I thought it may be the biggest mistake (or one of) of my life... It wasn't. He listens when I need him to, and he's kept my secret (because I asked him to), and he's very supportive whenever I can't stomach food or when I need certain foods or when I run out of my only favorite creamer and can't intake anything else (lol...).
    But all that is beside the point... He's there for me. And even when things get really bad at times inside my own head... He doesn't push me into things I can't handle, and it's just nice having someone who cares about me know, you know? I'm not alone <3
    Though... I'm really against just telling everyone. REALLY AGAINST IT. For all the bad reasons you listed above. Just be selective when you go to tell someone. Be aware that things may go either way.
    Much love <3

  3. I want to tell my friends but I'm always afraid they'll say the wrong thing or not understand. I'm never very good at talking about myself and I'm used to secrets which is why I've never had the courage to just out with it and say. One day though... :) it's good to have support, if you can find a way of telling them I would xxx


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