I just texted a girl from group.
I asked her if she had a few minutes to chat, even though it was nothing
urgent.
She hasn’t responded, and I doubt
she will since she hasn’t after 20 minutes.
I texted her because I want to
get to know the girls in my group. I want to be friendly, reach out to them,
plus I want to establish a connection so that if I ever need to call on them
for support, they’ll like me and want to help. I also want to let them know
that I’m open to help if they need it.
I don’t know how open the group
is with everyone, but they did give out a phone number contact list, presumably
so people can just call each other up.
When I texted her, my stomach
churned with nerves. Ed was going crazy in my head:
What if she doesn’t respond?
What if she reads your text and thinks
you’re being weird or annoying? What if she sighs and rolls her eyes?
What if she DOES respond?
What if she calls you back and asks
what’s wrong?
What if she’s annoyed that you
asked to talk to her for nothing?
But she didn’t respond, and
really, now that my nerves have subsided for a bit, I doubt she thinks worse of
me for contacting her.
(Hear that, Ed? You were being
stupid. If I got a text from someone in group, I wouldn’t think anything worse
of HER)
So what should I do? Should I try
another girl from the group? Should I text her again another day? Should I wait
to contact group members until they contact me?
UPDATE:
She did call me! And we talked for like 3 minutes. I told her I was anxious and that I didn't really know anyone in the group... She gave me a few tips on how to deal with it but we didn't really talk. It felt awkward just because I didn't know what to say and she was kind of busy. I guess I won't contact anyone else because I don't know if people are open to just talk and be friendly rather than give advice and stuff.
I dunno.
But I'm glad I called her, even though I feel like I might've just sounded stupid and awkward. She was nice, and I don't think she hates me for it. And now I know that people do respond if you ask them for help.
UPDATE:
She did call me! And we talked for like 3 minutes. I told her I was anxious and that I didn't really know anyone in the group... She gave me a few tips on how to deal with it but we didn't really talk. It felt awkward just because I didn't know what to say and she was kind of busy. I guess I won't contact anyone else because I don't know if people are open to just talk and be friendly rather than give advice and stuff.
I dunno.
But I'm glad I called her, even though I feel like I might've just sounded stupid and awkward. She was nice, and I don't think she hates me for it. And now I know that people do respond if you ask them for help.
Maybe it'll take a few conversations for the friendliness to build up? I think it was a great idea to contact her though, and I'm so proud of you for taking the step. When you're at group next, maybe give her feedback on the tips she gave you, or ask follow-up questions.
ReplyDeletexxxx
Thanks, that's a good idea to give her feedback! I'll definitely do that.
DeleteThat's awesome you were able to reach out, I have such anxiety when I try to do something like that. As for her response, she might have felt as weird as you felt. You never really know why a person reacts the way they do but most likely it is not "our fault". I try to remember that the other person is going through their own crap and maybe I talked to them right after they got a speeding ticket or something.
ReplyDeleteYou're right, that it wasn't all my weirdness. Even if I made it weird, she might've felt the same way.
DeleteWell done for calling her
ReplyDeleteThat's a big step to reach out
I had something similar happen this week
I emailed someone on Monday and I was anxious about it
I didn't hear back so two days later I sent another one
Thinking they weren't going to email back, I was surprised to wake up this morning to a lovely email from them
As Bella said, friendship takes time and effort
But it is so worth it to put in the time and energy
Keep in contact and I'm sure soon you will be able to ring each other no problem
You know what I love about you Emily?
The fact that you are always fighting
Always trying
Always making goals
Always striving for better and for more
And of course never giving up
You are full of strength and hope
Take care x
Thanks Ruby!
DeleteIt means so much to have all this positive feedback about calling her, especially when I was feeling anxious about it.
I'm glad you e-mailed someone and got a nice response :) I love pleasant surprises, even if they're preceeded by a bit of nervousness.
It means a lot to hear someone else say I'm full of strength and hope. I don't feel that way sometimes.
Just so you know, I think the same of you. You're such an inspiration!