Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Phone a Friend

I just texted a girl from group. I asked her if she had a few minutes to chat, even though it was nothing urgent.
She hasn’t responded, and I doubt she will since she hasn’t after 20 minutes.
I texted her because I want to get to know the girls in my group. I want to be friendly, reach out to them, plus I want to establish a connection so that if I ever need to call on them for support, they’ll like me and want to help. I also want to let them know that I’m open to help if they need it.
I don’t know how open the group is with everyone, but they did give out a phone number contact list, presumably so people can just call each other up.

When I texted her, my stomach churned with nerves. Ed was going crazy in my head:
What if she doesn’t respond?
What if she reads your text and thinks you’re being weird or annoying? What if she sighs and rolls her eyes?
What if she DOES respond?
What if she calls you back and asks what’s wrong?
What if she’s annoyed that you asked to talk to her for nothing?

But she didn’t respond, and really, now that my nerves have subsided for a bit, I doubt she thinks worse of me for contacting her.
(Hear that, Ed? You were being stupid. If I got a text from someone in group, I wouldn’t think anything worse of HER)

So what should I do? Should I try another girl from the group? Should I text her again another day? Should I wait to contact group members until they contact me? 

She did call me! And we talked for like 3 minutes. I told her I was anxious and that I didn't really know anyone in the group... She gave me a few tips on how to deal with it but we didn't really talk. It felt awkward just because I didn't know what to say and she was kind of busy. I guess I won't contact anyone else because I don't know if people are open to just talk and be friendly rather than give advice and stuff. 
I dunno.
But I'm glad I called her, even though I feel like I might've just sounded stupid and awkward. She was nice, and I don't think she hates me for it. And now I know that people do respond if you ask them for help. 


  1. Maybe it'll take a few conversations for the friendliness to build up? I think it was a great idea to contact her though, and I'm so proud of you for taking the step. When you're at group next, maybe give her feedback on the tips she gave you, or ask follow-up questions.


    1. Thanks, that's a good idea to give her feedback! I'll definitely do that.

  2. That's awesome you were able to reach out, I have such anxiety when I try to do something like that. As for her response, she might have felt as weird as you felt. You never really know why a person reacts the way they do but most likely it is not "our fault". I try to remember that the other person is going through their own crap and maybe I talked to them right after they got a speeding ticket or something.

    1. You're right, that it wasn't all my weirdness. Even if I made it weird, she might've felt the same way.

  3. Well done for calling her
    That's a big step to reach out
    I had something similar happen this week
    I emailed someone on Monday and I was anxious about it
    I didn't hear back so two days later I sent another one
    Thinking they weren't going to email back, I was surprised to wake up this morning to a lovely email from them

    As Bella said, friendship takes time and effort
    But it is so worth it to put in the time and energy
    Keep in contact and I'm sure soon you will be able to ring each other no problem

    You know what I love about you Emily?
    The fact that you are always fighting
    Always trying
    Always making goals
    Always striving for better and for more
    And of course never giving up
    You are full of strength and hope

    Take care x

    1. Thanks Ruby!
      It means so much to have all this positive feedback about calling her, especially when I was feeling anxious about it.
      I'm glad you e-mailed someone and got a nice response :) I love pleasant surprises, even if they're preceeded by a bit of nervousness.

      It means a lot to hear someone else say I'm full of strength and hope. I don't feel that way sometimes.
      Just so you know, I think the same of you. You're such an inspiration!


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