Stay in the Closet

Ed: 
You're going to miss your flight.
You need to get references NOW.
No one knows you well enough to give you good references.
You fail at socializing. 
No one knows you. 
No one cares. 
You are going to fail unless you're a good friend of all your bosses. 
You waited too long to send in the application.
You won't get into grad school.
You won't find research. 
No professor wants you to help them.
It's too late for you. All the opportunities are taken by your betters.
You're fat. 
You've gained 10 pounds. You're fat. 
You're wasting your parents' money.
Your boss will hate you when she finds out you're in Belize.
You need to break up with your boyfriend because he doesn't love you.
He doesn't understand you. 
He doesn't care. 


There. Now Ed has exhausted himself and I shall stuff him in the back of my closet for my vacation. 

Goodbye Ed. I won't see you when I get back.